How To Maintain Friendships While You Are Pregnant
Pregnancy is a process with many layers. Each day, you will learn new things about yourself. Some parts of this transition will feel easy, exciting, and fun, while other parts of this transition feel unknown, difficult, and complicated. All of these experiences are valid.
As a pregnant high schooler, you will be adjusting to pregnancy, considering your life as a parent or preparing for adoption, AND navigating the elements of your life that existed pre-pregnancy-- family, academics, and friendship, for example.
High school tends to be a time during which young people invest a lot of energy and attention into their social lives, both IRL and on social media. The teenage brain is wired to observe peers and social norms and is motivated to feel the sense of belonging. The need to engage socially is one that will continue during pregnancy and parenthood, if this is your path.
These are our top 7 tips for maintaining friendships while you are pregnant:
Acknowledge the changes you are experiencing. First and foremost, give yourself the time and space to notice the changes you are experiencing. You might experience changes in your body, mind, and emotions; all of this is normal. Yours needs and preferences may also change during this time.
Be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy is a time to offer yourself a lot of compassion, nurturing, and kindness. If you can’t stay up as late as you used to, that’s okay. If you don’t have the energy to go to parties or social gatherings, that’s okay. If you have less time to spend on social media, that’s okay. And so on.
Communicate your needs, preferences, and limits to friends. As you gain self-awareness of the changes you are experiencing, it can be helpful to communicate your needs, preferences, and limits with the friends you trust. For example, if you need movement, you might ask friends to take walks with you. If you don’t want to be around substances, share your limit with them.
Keep investing in supportive relationships. While your life is in transition, it is important to stay connected to people who support you and bring you joy. Continue to make plans with or spend time talking to the friends who really “get” you.
Grow your support system. Just as it is important to stay connected with old friends, this can also be a great time to connect with new friends. You might join a parenting group or class where you meet other young parents whom you would like to connect with.
Ask for help when you need it. If your friends are have not been pregnant or are not parents, they might not know how to help. As new needs arise, reach out to your support system and ask for help. Whether you need help putting a crib together, have a craving for a specific treat, want to create affirmation cards for birth, or just need someone who can listen and hug you, there is likely a friend who can offer support.
Stay patient. Your friends will also be adjusting to your pregnancy, and, at first, they may not understand. Stay patient with yourself and with them. It might take some time for them to understand how to best be there for you, and that’s okay.
This journey of pregnancy is yours. We invite you to take things one step at a time. You are managing a lot right now, so it’s okay to move through these ideas slowly. Take what works and throw the rest out.
At Project Teenbirth, our purpose is to educate, support, and empower pregnant teens and young parents throughout all pregnancy outcomes. We see you and are here to support you as you navigate friendships during pregnancy. Please reach out if you would like support in this process.
Author: Courtney Harris is a witness, space-holder, supporter, and caregiver for families of all types and in all stages; she has worked with youth and their families since 2008. Currently, Courtney serves as a Life Coach for Teens and a Companion for Birth and Beyond. She is passionate about honoring life’s transitions and believes that all birthing people deserve compassionate, steady, and informed support throughout their unique reproductive journeys. You can connect with Courtney here and across all social media platforms at @companioncourtney.